Where did Susie go?

      Well, as you know, my Mom was a child of the '60s and '70s.  I guess.  No, I know she was a child of the hippie era.  Even up to the last time I spoke to her about 12 or 13 years ago (I think Anthony was in the 5th grade), she had a raspy voice and talked with singing-like sentences.  You know those people who stretch out their words when they speak, almost like they are whining but not whining.

     Anyhoo, of course, I don't remember what happened during their short-term marriage.  Don't know if there was a lot of fighting, who the guilty person was, or why they ended up divorced.  I think the marriage lasted for maybe two years. It is funny because my Mom never spoke ill of Steven.  In fact, she never spoke ill of any of the men that she had kids with.  I think it may have been due to her being in the wrong.  She probably knew whatever happened to end any of the relationships was due to something she did. 

   Now, from what I am told, my brother Steve went with his father Steven, and I went with my Mom.  I wasn't with my Mom for too long before she felt as though she couldn't take care of me.  She felt as though leaving me at a church with a coloring book was the best route for leaving me.  I do have to give her kudos for that departure though.  I should feel "blessed" literally, for being left on a church pew with a coloring book at two years old.  And I am happy that she had enough knowledge to let the pastor know I was there. I was left sitting on the pew in a dirty wet diaper coloring. 
 
 My Grandparents got a phone call from the pastor to come and pick me up.  I don't know the entire story behind how the Pastor knew who to call. And there you have it, this is how I ended up with my Grandparents.  I think they did have to go to court for custody, and Steven (my so-called Father) told the court that I was not his child.  Thank God for my Grandparents choosing to pick me up.  I am not sure where I would have been if they didn't. 

   Where did Susie go?  Why did she leave her child? 

Teenage years

     Susie must have taken the wrong turn when getting into high school.  Maybe she fell in with the wrong crowd, perhaps she was rebelling, or maybe she found the crazy boy in school that led her down the wrong path.  And everyone knows that young love feeling.  A young person with a longing for some attention can find it in a guy who may not be right for her.  My Mom was a beautiful young lady.  I have seen some of her photos; whether she had short hair or long hair, she was always so beautiful.

     That beautiful young lady with maybe a fault of her insecurities of no longer being the "baby" of the family and the injury of her back fell in love (whatever that could be when you are a teenager) with a guy named Steve.  Not sure if this guy was a rebel, a jock, a nerd, or what.  I do know that he came from a strict catholic household that was located directly across the street from the high school.  And his family was not so bad off.  From what I am told, he loved his cars, and I think he probably had a sports car when he and my Mom were together.  My Mom said to me after Steve died due to falling asleep at the wheel of his Camero, she knew Steve would end up killing himself in the car because he always put a car before anything. 
 
 Moving on....my brother Steve was born in 1973 in Alpena, MI.  My Mom was 16, soon to be 17.  She was removed during her junior year in school due to this act being an embarrassment to the family.  And of course, graduating was not an option because Steve had to do the right thing and marry this girl and start a family.   A year later, I was born. 

    I was born in Jackson.  I am not sure why they moved to Jackson or somewhere around Jackson to live.  I am assuming it is obvious...Steve needed a job.  This is where things get a little tricky with me being born.  Steve said I was not his child after they were divorced, and he didn't want anything to do with me.  And from what I am told and have heard over and over and over again, "you are a little Mexican". 

    Now that I am grown, I have had a DNA test done, and some random person popped up as either an aunt or half-sister.  So, there you go....yep, not Steve's kid.

Susie, the problem child

          Susie was born on July 23, 1955, or 56.   She was number 3 out of 4 girls in the family.  I am not sure about her childhood.  I don't know how she was treated. I don't know if she had a problem learning, or if she was a problematic child while in elementary school.

     There were several different stories I heard about when, where, why, and how my Mom became the "bad" child.  Nowadays, social workers and educators have names or titles for the child that my Mom was.  Maybe she had a psychological problem that wasn't determined because, during that era,  problem children like my Mom was hidden away.  It was embarrassing to have a child in a family who behaved or portrayed themselves like this. Like Susie did.  It was not spoken about.  Especially in a small city that I came from.

     From what I have heard over the years is Susie went bad after Angie was born, there was such a long time between both of them.  I guess there are 11 years between my Mom being born and my Aunt Angie being born.  After Angie being born is when Susie started acting out.  And then I heard she was in gymnastics and she broke her back, the doctors gave her meds, and she couldn't get off of them. (I cannot give you the exact quotes, that is why I italicized.)  Such things were repeated time and time over the years.

    I guess maybe when a person who may be born with a certain chemical imbalance it is possible that the combination of both a new child being born after being the "baby" of the family for a long time and having all the attention being taken away when a new baby is born plus enduring injury while performing a certain sport could make a person's chemical imbalance come to light.

     I was not there. I don't know the truth about what happened to Susie to make to the person s
she became.  However, throughout my childhood and after I was constantly reminded about Susie.  How "you are just like your Mother."  "You are just like Susie."  "She looks just like Susie." "You are going to turn out just like your Mother."  "Susie always ruins everything."