Love's Baby Soft

          After my Mom left me, I have a few scattered memories of me being with her in her house or apartment here and there during my young years.  I don't know if the memories were during certain weekends when I went and visited her or what happened. I am not sure if I went and lived with her for a certain time or what.

      I do know that my Mom came and often went throughout my childhood.  A lot of those times she would come and go when I was really small was when the location was "down below" (south of Alpena).  My Mom would either be in Lansing or Jackson.  However, sometimes she would take off to Phoenix or sometimes California.

     Some of the earliest memories that I have with my Mom are in her apartment; I think it was in Lansing.  I believe I was around 3 or 4 years old.  I remember when I used to climb up on the counters and get the parmesan cheese out of the cabinets  (I still love parmesan cheese).  I also remember when my Mom was taking a bubble bath, and she called me into the bathroom for some odd reason.  She called me Baby Girl.  I can still hear her voice.  I do remember her smell.  Her smell was unique.  She wore baby-soft roll-on perfume and smoked Kool menthol light cigarettes.

  To this day, I may catch a scent that will make me turn my head to see if my Mom is walking around the corner.  I also do remember my younger brother Armando being brought home.  Either I remember it, or it was a photo that made me think I remembered it.

     I do remember the phone calls each Christmas.  My Mom would call each Christmas Eve.  All of my Aunts and Grandparents would be on pins and needles because Susie was going to call.  The first complaint was because she would be calling collect. The next would be, "Why does she need to do this every year! Susie always has to ruin Christmas".  This is what I heard my Aunts say about my Mom every year.  I guess they forgot all about Susie's daughter hearing each and every word that was being said about my Mom.  Of course, they didn't think about how it would make me feel.  You see, I wanted nothing more than to hear my Mom.  I wanted to listen to her voice.  When I was young, I didn't want anything more to listen to my Mom's scratchy, horse, whiny but cool, voice say "Hey babygirl."