28 years

      The other day my friend texted me and reminded me that it had been 28 years since we made our voyage from our small little towns in Michigan to Phoenix, Arizona.  

     Right before I graduated from Beauty school I was actually called by Nicole, everyone knew Nicole, she was one best nail techs known in Alpena in 1992 asking me when I have to take my exams to be licensed as a cosmetologist.  She explained to me that I worked on one of her clients while she was on vacation and she wanted me to come work in the same shop she worked.  I was so frekin happy!  Of course it was extremely hard to get clients right away since I was only doing nails and not full cosmetology services, and I was hoping to be the next Nicole...but it was hard.  So luckily the owner asked to me work the counter also while I was trying to increase my clientele which brought in a little more money.  

     Almost the same time after I started my job, my Grandparents had another talk with me and it went a little like this "Bridget, you are 18 and it is time for you to move out.  You are a good kid and did nothing wrong, but we raised 4 girls of our own and you.  You are very independent and can make it on your own."  I really don't know if I was shocked that I was being kicked out, or happy that I was moving out.  So... with this news, the hunt for a roommate started.  I decided to ask one of the girls that I hung around with in St. Ignace to be my roommate. I think she was looking for a place to live also.  We ended up moving into a single story very old, 1 bedroom stone house.  I think that the rent was maybe, maybe $400 a month?  It was really cheap, and we both could afford it putting both of our earnings together.

     So now we are moved into our new little place, I am working, I have no idea if the other girl worked or if she just got money from her parents (can't remember).  And of course, the partying began.  We had some pretty good parties.  Let's just say a lot of jungle juice 😎.  I decided to try to go to the community college at that time because well, seems like everyone else was.  That didn't work out too well.  

     After being in the house for probably just over 6 months or so, and my clientele at the shop not increasing, I didn't see too much of a future in Alpena, so I made up my mind that it was time for me to pick my stuff up and move to Phoenix.  In my mind and what I told my Grandparents was "I'm moving to Phoenix because I need to help my Mom".  I think I actually had in my mind that I could "fix" my Mom.  

     I told my roommate, and she wanted to come with me.  And then one of my best friends who had a full academic scholarship to Michigan State University told us over the phone that we could not leave without her.  Her finals or mid-terms were going to be completed in a week or two and she was coming with us right after she was done.  

     I sold what I could sell, even my little blue citation which in hindsight probably would have been a much more comfortable of a ride to Phoenix.  The three of us packed up what we could fit in a Fiero "trunk" Between the 3 of us, $700.00, a fold-up paper map all squished up in 2-seated Fiero….let the road-trip of a life-time begin….. 

     Phoenix here we come!  Three young ladies who were truly "wet" behind the ears from small towns in Michigan were ready to take on the world!  Well, at least Phoenix...and the heat!

 

What next?

 The next few years went by pretty fast.  When my Mom left the last time, my Grandparents decided to adopt me.  My Grandparents had to put an ad in the Alpena news to my Mom and anyone else who may have something to say about my adoption.  I am not really sure the legal reasons why this ad had to be done, but I guess it had to be done.  I remember my Grandpa asked me to sit down at the table because they, being my Grandma and Grandpa, wanted to talk to me about something.  We all sat down at the kitchen table.  Then my Grandpa says with his low voice something like "I think it would be best if we adopted you."  Is that something you would like?  I remember the feeling for just a brief second of "why now?" and “hmmmm....do I really want to be adopted?” And then my Grandpa says that it would help them out financially if I were adopted and they would pay me $50.00 a month if I agreed to it.   After thinking of it more I did feel a little different about being adopted.  How would people think of me?  I knew my Grandpa was adopted and he said people treated him terribly because he was adopted when he was growing up so, as a teenager I wasn't sure how people my age would treat me if they knew about it.  And then I thought, OK if they are going to pay me $50.00 a month...why not?  And then my Grandpa asked me if I wanted to keep my last name Pahlkotter or change it to their last name Green.  I chose to keep my last name because it would be too difficult to explain why my last name changed.  Plus, I was actually really used to my long "odd" last name.  

     The adoption happened, there was no celebration, no new feeling about myself, no new feeling about how I felt about anything.  I still called my Grandparents Grandma and Grandpa, called my Aunts Aunt, and my Mom Mom.  And I think I only received one monthly payment?  I didn't ask about the payment because I just thought that if they wanted to adopt me they probably really needed the money. I actually never brought up the adoption to anyone until I became an adult and had to fill out official paperwork, especially when I married my husband who was in the Military and it was time for me to get a passport. I just recently found out after my Aunt has been bothering me about not believing I was adopted, was my Grandparents never let my Aunts know I was adopted.  From what I gather, my Grandpa didn’t want to let my Aunts know because they would have caused trouble for them and there would have been fights.  Well, the “cause trouble” part came about 30 years late... my Aunt started harassing me this year about my adoption.  Not exactly why she is so torn or worried about it now.  She didn’t really care about my well-being when I was a kid.  

     I continued to work in St. Ignace that summer for the entire summer break. I worked at Big Boy for a while then upgraded to being a waitress at a White Fish restaurant to make more tips/ more money.   I made enough money that year to buy my first car which was a light blue Chevy Citation.  It was pretty funny looking, but it was in excellent condition!  It ran really well and had brand new tires and the interior was in perfect condition.  My friend and I used to call it the "Blue Egg".  I loved it.  It was actually really comfortable also with well-maintained seats.  

     My Junior year in High School was OK.  I wasn't allowed to go back to St. Ignace to work that summer though.  I am not sure why I was not allowed again, I made good money over the summers I worked up there and I didn't need any assistance buying my school clothes.  Just wasn't allowed to go back.

 Just before my senior year, my Grandpa sat me down again at the table and says "I think you should go to beauty school".  He said, you are always doing someone's hair and I can just hear him saying "hell, you would even do my hair".  Yes, there were times I would stand behind my Grandpa and curl his few hairs on his head with my curling iron.  He would just sit there and let me.  It was funny because one time I accidentally burned the top of his head.  He had a big scab on the top of his head for a little while 😄.  He then went on to tell me that I wouldn't have to worry about a job after I graduate and he said it was a successful career.  

     During my Senior year in Beauty School, I was not allowed to drive my own car to school every day because I could not afford the insurance while I was in school.  My Grandparents could not afford to add me to their insurance either.  So, my Grandpa took me to school every morning and drove me home every night.  At 17 years old and at 17 it was so embarrassing to be driven to class every day.  But thank God for Grandpa being a person who always wanted to be early to everything because I was almost always the first one to the school every day before others could see me :) and I made it to class every single day and was one of the first to finish my 1700 hours of training.   The best thing about doing this was that I was able to graduate from both Beauty School and High School at the same time.  The next best thing about this was my Grandpa loved me very much.  He would do things to get on my nerves on the way to school every day but when I think about it now, I wish I could get some of those times back again.  And for this man who had already had 4 girls of his own to raise, a man who was put through the gauntlet with my Mom and her problems to wake up every single morning to take me to school and then drive back to pick me up to ensure that I succeeded in life is pretty incredible.  My Grandpa took me to Detroit to pass the “Boards” to be certified as a cosmetologist.  I actually got offered a job before I graduated from Beauty School as a nail tech at a boutique in the mall.  I still love nails and have my own nails done as a routine.  And I can still do hair, I am not scared to cut my hair, & I still remember how to wrap a perm.

I have carried this around since 1992.  I lost the larger one but carried the wallet size everywhere we moved

     I don’t remember a whole lot of communication with my Mom during a couple of years.  She probably called once in a while from Prison & she did call when I graduated.  That was nice.